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A Woman’s Perspective
By Denise | August 15, 2007
The world of cigars can be a pretty intimidating place for a woman. Not only is it mostly male dominated, but it has a history of being associated with either pompous old men who know everything about everything or dirty old bums who have bad teeth, horrible hygiene, and live in a boxcar. Even though there have been precious few female celebrities who have graced the covers of magazines and newspapers sporting a cigar in their hands, we women still get the general impression that cigars are for men and men alone. Any woman who dares smoke one will be looked down upon, or gently patted on the head with a ‘Oh, aren’t you cute…trying to be all rebellious’ look. When I smoked my first cigar almost 5 years ago in the Dominican Republic, the thought never entered my mind that it would be anything more than that; a cigar in the Dominican Republic. Though my husband mentioned he wouldn’t mind smoking them on more than just a special occasion, it still never occurred to me that he would take in on as a side hobby that would eventually turn into a desire to pursue a full time career somewhere in the cigar industry.
Fast forward to somewhere around March of 2007. My husband is now known as ‘Cigar Jack’ and runs his own cigar review website. I too have become somewhat of a cigar smoker, though compared to his 7 per week smokes, I was more at 4-5 per month. When he approached me with his desire to hit the RTDA convention in August, I was eager to go along with him. Being a woman, I thought this would be a great chance to have some one on one, not to mention a vacation away from the kids, and hey, cigars on the side! Maybe through some weird form of osmosis I would be able to pick up some general knowledge of the field and actually start talking cigars every now and then besides just smiling and nodding and pretending like I knew something about what I was smoking. So, passes acquired, flights and hotel booked, and transportation arranged, I proceeded to spend the next few months wondering if maybe I’d made a mistake and that I would now be looked down on in disdain for 4 days by men who couldn’t fathom why someone would allow a woman into a man’s realm. I had no idea what I had gotten myself into, nor did I have any clue as to why I was so worried about it.
We arrived at our hotel around midnight on the 3rd after a hectic ride in which is a story for another time. After a good nights sleep and a decent breakfast, we headed to the convention center via our feet. Houston in the summer isn’t too bad in the morning if you stick to the shadows. We headed for registration, snagged our passes, and proceeded to head into the convention because we were lucky enough to be given exhibitor passes by La Tradicion Cubana, Inc. and so were allowed in on set-up day. As we made our way to La Tradicion’s booth to say hello and thank you, I was in awe of pretty much everything. Hundreds of booths were being assembled, people running everywhere, and a fine haze hung over all. The smell was not altogether unpleasant despite it being the smoke of possibly hundreds of different cigars.
And then we arrived and I held my breath.
Introductions were made, my husband was offered a cigar, and for some reason to my surprise, they offered me one as well. I was a bit thrown by how to answer, ‘What do you like to smoke?’, because quite honestly, I didn’t know. I barely averaged 1 cigar a week, and even then I would always allow my husband to pick it because I had no idea what was what. Thankfully he answered for me, and I was given a nod, a smile, and handed a La Tradicion Cubana Lancero. That was it. There was no condescending look, no slight shake of the head that a cigar was being wasted on a female, no pat on the head and asked if I needed someone to cut and light it for me. It wasn’t that I was expecting to be looked down on. The truth is I had no idea what to expect but was preparing for the worst. With a quiet sigh of relief, I lit up the cigar and smoked what I thought, was a very nice and mild cigar that was perfect as a pre-noon smoke.
The rest of the convention was most similar to that experience. As we walked from booth to booth and explained that we reviewed cigars, the exhibitors we found were very friendly and seemed quite interested in what we had to say. We never asked for cigars, but were offered them up for us to review. With every booth we stopped at and every conversation we got into, somewhere in me I was expecting some slight amount of reprimanding for being there, but if anyone did, they were pretty subtle because I never noticed it once. Though I didn’t do much talking, since as I said I’m still somewhat new to this arena, all the exhibitor’s treated me with the same amount of respect and attention as my husband. There were a few surprised looks when I answered yes to their question of, ‘Do you smoke too?’, but those looks were almost eagerly followed by, ‘What do you like?’ upon which they would proceed to hand over a few more to the already acquired ones for my husband. Along with exhibitors, I caught a few curious looks from other convention attendees, but I never got the impression that I shouldn’t be there. I also noticed that despite what my first thoughts were about cigars being all men, my husband and I guesstimated that roughly 30% of the those in attendance were female…minus the booth babes. Again, that’s another story for another time.
In the end, the experience was completely overwhelming. My husband and I met a few of the big names in the cigar industry, all of which were very friendly and most receptive to those that approached them. Despite approximately 16 hours of walking around, we were still unable to see everything. As our main goal in attending this function was to make a few connections and get our review site name out there, the pace of our trip had a ‘go-go-go’ feel to it as we went from booth to booth from open to close, then proceeded back to our hotel for 30 minutes of down time before heading back out for party’s thrown by the big names of the industry. I will admit that on Tuesday as we packed up our stuff and prepared to head back to the airport, I was a bit sad to go. Next year, we’ve decided, we’ll stay till the final day.
I am happy to say that I did manage to gleam a few new insights and knowledge into this strange world I’ve entered. I still don’t know enough to carry on a long conversation, nor could I accurately tell you what I like to smoke. However, as I think back on what I experienced at that convention, and as I now peruse the various cigar boards that are found on the net, I’m discovering that for most, cigars are more than just a hobby for those that smoke them, and more than just a paycheck for those who make them. Cigars are an art form that can only be truly appreciated when consumed. The world of cigars, though still intimidating, is a fascinating one. One that could take a lifetime to explore, and I think that therein is the draw to this community. Cigars have created these pockets of brotherhoods that I find to be surprisingly tight knit, despite the miles that separate one person from another. I’ve found that many of those who are part of these communities are some of the most generous, accepting, and understanding people I’ve ever known. I have a new found interest and respect for cigars, one that I never would have expected on that first day in the Dominican Republic.
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Topics: Cigar Talk |
August 17th, 2007 at 11:39 pm
awesome. now next year you are going to take me and hook me up with one of those cigar-smokin’ cuties. ;)
August 18th, 2007 at 12:39 am
You’d only get us all arrested in Las Vegas. Nothing but trouble.
August 22nd, 2007 at 4:31 pm
Denise, thanks for writing this article. Very interesting. Always fun to know what women think about cigars :)
August 23rd, 2007 at 8:15 am
You’re very welcome CI. I had fun writing it. :)
December 29th, 2007 at 5:59 pm
I have been in search of other women online who appreciate a good cigar. It appears that all the hype from the female smokers has died off since the cigar boom. I was recently enlightened to the wonderful flavor of a premium smoke, but have been a bit self-consious about smoking in “public”. The cigar shops here seem to appreciate my visits and have treated me with the utmost respect, with or without the company of my husband. (Much to my surprise!)
So thanks much for sharing!
January 11th, 2008 at 4:49 pm
Your husband’s review site is at the top of my favorite list. I link it to my blog, and often pass on his postings to my readers. I appreciate you writing this article. I really enjoyed it and thank you for your insight as the wife of Cigar Jack! You are so right - cigars are more than just a smoke. The culture is deeply rich with history, and the act of smoking a cigar is an art form.
I understand how women may feel intimidated by smoking in public. I’ve received a few side glances myself. But with or without a husband or male influence, I assure you there is a growing number of Women who Smoke Cigars among the “Lovers of the Leaf”, often referred to as “SOTL”. Our acceptance into the “Old Boy’s Club” has become a natural transition. Women such as Diana Silvius, have busted down a few doors for us, and we now make up an important factor in the demographic. Not surprising if u ask me!
One of my favorite smokes, is the La Fontana - Its sweet and very lady like. Give it a shot, if you haven’t already - its a Camacho, you’ll love it!
February 27th, 2008 at 11:47 am
Denise:
In light of your quest to learn more about the world of cigars and, more specifically, to assist you in “educating your palate”, might I suggest that you try the tactic that my wife and I came up with, a few years ago.
When she first started smoking them, it was only an occasional puff or two off of whatever cigar I was smoking at the time. Then, after I retired from teaching and took a part-time job in a local cigar shop, we found a number of “cigar friends” who invited us to parties, etc. That provided her with the impetus to actually smoke whole cigars on her own. Too, her position at the corporate offices of a major transportation company often had her attending out-of-town business meetings which were mostly males, accompanied by dinners out that were followed by coffee/drinks and cigars. Gradually, she got to the point where she really wanted to learn more about cigars and get a list of the ones she enjoyed.
I suggested that she get a small spiral notebook, and record the main data on each new cigar she has the chance to smoke. She takes the notebook with her when we go to parties or cigar events (and the RTDA, last August), and when she goes out of town on business. The rest of the time, it’s on her desk.
In the notebook, she records the name of each new cigar, and its country of origin. She also notes where the tobaccos came from, if she can get the information from someone, and what “body” it is generally considered to have. (Otherwise, she asks me and I tell her.) Once I got her “taught” to look for the subtle flavors (nuts, spices, etc.) amid the tobacco smoke, she started noting those, too. She also “rates” each overall cigar experience with between one and five “smiley faces” for those she likes, and the occasional “frown face” for the ones that she really didn’t enjoy.
Using the information in her notebook, she has gradually come to the conclusion that she prefers medium-bodied Honduran cigars overall, but that she particularly enjoys the Avo XO line and the Edge Light and Edge Corojo by Rocky Patel.
Hopefully, this information will help you develop a better gauge on your own cigar preferences by the time the 2008 RTDA rolls around!
March 6th, 2008 at 8:23 pm
Denise as the wife of a cigar lover I totally understand the way you feel. I already walked through the road you are in now, but in my case it was our friends the ones that gave me a harder time for supporting my husband with his cigar smoking. No matter how I would explain it, they just could not get it and it really bothered me that they would make these “little comments” about him looking like an old man doing that, the smell or whatever nonsense they would come up with.
You see my husband retired from the army (82 Airborne + recruiting during war time) alive and in one piece and that includes our marriage surviving all the stress, anguish and army-separation. It blew my mind that people could be so critical of him enjoying his cigars or me supporting him. So when I got tired of their nonsense I decided to create my own website in honor of my hubbys’ cigar smoking and to help other wives understand why their men get so attached to that whole cigar culture. Because in my house my soldier can have all the cigars he wants and smoke them too!!! My grandfather was a tobacco grower in Puerto Rico and a chewer, my dad was a pipe smoker and a Tovador. So no surprise that I would support my hubby with his love of cigars. When I smell a cigar it brings me beautiful memories of my childhood and those great men in my family. Now when anyone comes with their smart remarks or “questions” I send them to Thecigarloverwife.citymax.com and they can help themselves to some culture so they can expand their horizons :-)
Continue to support your hubby and do not let anyone intimidate you. Tobacco is a product of nature first, second it is labored by smart humble people, third they are hand crafted by artisans (a lot of them women)and forth like any work of art, it is up to individual taste. We all have different taste buds and what could taste great to you might taste like crap to someone else. So enjoy the ride… and maybe stop by Corona Cigars and have a conversation with “Avo” the man is so humble and grounded he makes the cigar snobs look like they are in the wrong territory.